WIFE sms

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

1.Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai.....




2.Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!

Husband (Pyar Se):
To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho….?????





3.Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon”.........



4.Husband wife mein larai hoi,
Husband ghar se chala gaya,

Husb:Rat ko phone pay,”Khanay mein kia hai”
Wife:Zeher.
Husb:Mai dair se aonga, tum kha kar so jana:D





5.Ek admi aadi raat ko apni moti biwi se bola
k sisak sisak ke marna theek hai ya ek dum.
BIWI : Ek dum.
Aadmi : To apni dusri tang bhi mujh per rakh do.




6.Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?

Sardar:Your honour,
it’s easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.....




7.Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!!!!!





8.How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 1.O bunty k pappa
Yr 1.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 1.Tum aate ho k main aaon??????




9.Wife:
Jaanu kash aap SMS hotay,
Main aap ko save karti,

Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti,
Main her haftay tumhe change karta ;-)







10.Tofani barish mein rat ko,
shop per 1 admi pizza lenay aaya
SHOPKEEPER: Aap married hein?
Admin:Is tofani barish mein kia
meri maa mujhey pizza lenay bhejay gi??????





11.Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aalo
lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaya:-(

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo:-)






12.Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi,
1 churail kabhi mere age
kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:Kaun si movie thi?
Husband:Apni shadi ki......




13.Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
Mein bolta tha wo sunti thi,

Phir woh meri mangetr bani,
Woh bolti thi mein sunta tha

Jab se woh meri BIWI bani,
Hum dono bolte hain
or
muhalla sutna hai.......





14.Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust!”





15.Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband
k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete
HUSBAND! sahi suna he,
Wife: aisa kion?
Husband: Arey pagli isi liye to
usey jannat kehte hain.......





16.Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first....





17.My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met......






18.Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend
mein galian kion de rahey thai?
Husband: tumhey ghalat fehmi hoi hai..

Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
Husband: yehi k mein neeend mein tha......





19.Husband - tum kon hoo

Biwi - pagal hogay kiya apni Biwi koo bhol gaye

HUSBAND - nasha her gham bhola deta hai.....






20.Husband:
ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain
chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?
WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai
2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte???????





21.Wife:
suno ji doctor Ne mujhe aik maheenay k araam k liye
beautiful foreign country janay ko kaha hai.

Hum kahan jayen gay?
Husband: doosray doctor k paas.....





22.Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai........




23.Husband apni wife ka janaza le ker ja raha tha.
Jana k aag 1 kutta or pche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
Ek aadmi aakar pochta he,”Bhai yeh sab howa kaise?”
Husband: Is kutte ne kaat liya tha meri biwi ko…
Aadmi: Yeh kutta ek din k liye mujhey dedo
Husband: peeche line mein lag jao….......





24.Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney......





25.Wife: Main tumhari yaad mein
15 din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hun,
mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?

Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao.......




26.Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent ……

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to Deâ€......





27.Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever.......






28.Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday........





29.A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
“Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha ha........






30.What is the difference between wife & saali?

Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duy,

Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,

Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,

Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,

Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi,

Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake......