SANTA BANTA sms

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

1.Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.

Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p........





2.Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient........





3.Santa taklu He
phir bhi roz saloon jata hay,
Why ???

Kion k.......







4.Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor mere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye

Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??

Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..........




5.An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.

Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, “what a shot you made!”........




6.
1 banda bhahta howa aata hay
aur Santa se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.

Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D






7.Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.

He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.

“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?” asked the another man.

Santa replied, “Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.”........





8.Preeto 2 maid:
Oh Kanta, I have reason 2 suspect that
Banta is having an affair with his secretary.

Kanta: I don’t believe it!
U r just trying 2 make me jealous..........





9.Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka pair hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.......





10.Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!!!!!!!





11.Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
“Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?”

“Of course, dear, no trouble,” she replied.
“But what will you live on?”.......






12.Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.

Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.






13.Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good… Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Bad…. Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You appoint me.......









14.Banta ask santa: what will you
advise your children about marriage?

Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and
I’ll give same advice to my children also......





15.Santa goes 2 a Petrol Pump
sees a board Don”t use Mobile Here,
he Picks his Mobile Phone,
Calls everyone from his phone
& says DON”T CALL ME NOW.........




16.Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks,
‘Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?’

‘Haan’ replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, ‘Ek hara vala dena!.....




17.Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!!!!!!!!





18.Santa found answer to the
most difficult question ever-
What comes first the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega !!!!!!





19.Santa was drawing money from ATM.
Banta, who was just behind him in
the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****.
Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394......





20.Pappu while filling up a form:
What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long…......




21.Jeeto: Kal raat um mujhey neend main gaaliyan day rahay thay?
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha......





22.A man to Santa:
Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Santa rushes home and came back within
half an hour and slapped the man
and said:
“He’s not my friend.........





23.An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do........




24.American: In our country ,
marriage even takes place with email.

Santa: In India, it is only with a female......





25.Teacher to Santa: is line ki english banao,
usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan….....




26.A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said “CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA” & died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGN K PIPE SE PAIR Utha.........






27.A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…!!!!!!




28.A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out..........



29.1 banda bhahta howa aata hay
aur Santa se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.

Santa: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay:D:D





30.Banta pair pey charha to upar baithey
Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka pair hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon..........