JOKES IN sms

Friday, August 8, 2008

1.News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo...
1 was caught watching tv...
another playing football and
the third one was caught reading this txt message.......









2.God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested........







3.The longest sentence known to man: "I do.".........







4.CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this..........








5.Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime????????








6.This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!!!!!!!!!
Now read without the word dog.....











7.Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.........








8.I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!!!!!!!!!!!!







9.ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.......








10.Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p...........












11.Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac??????///








12.Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!!!!!!!!1






13.Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs........







14.I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears..........









15.There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant..........








16.What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing???????????







17.What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him........








18.I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead..........











19.A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."........








20.Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.........







21.What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.........







22.Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.........







23.Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"..........







24.What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!!!!!!!!!








25.The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.............









26.Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what????????








27.WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!!!!!!!!!








28.What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion........







29.Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV........









30.Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!!!!!!!!!!








31.What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!!!!!!!!!







32.What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors.......







33.Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.........








34.Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.........








35.Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An f****ing know it all.......








36.Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth........









37.What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women........









38.How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.......












39.Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog".............







40.A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend...........






41.What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy....






42.Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.........






43.Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer..........






44.You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.......






45.It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.........







46.Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.........







47.A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.........








48.Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.......








49.How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used............






50.Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV..........

WISE QUOTES sms

Thursday, August 7, 2008

1.When the time comes for you to give
your heart to someone,
make sure that u select someone who
will never break your heart,
coz broken hearts have no spare parts...........






2.Ur sky is as much as u’d want to reach,
ur life is as lonely as u’d like to make;
Ur joy is as much as u decide to feel,
ur nite is as long as you decide to wake.
No one sets the limit for u,
no one can etch the span of the sky,
all u need to do is rise,
spread ur wings & decide to fly...........









3.No one will manufacture a lock without a key.
Similarly, God wont give problems without solutions.
So defeat your problems with great confidence..........









4.Winning horse doesn’t knows why it runs in the race,
It runs because of the beat and pains…
Life is a race,god is your rider,
So if u r in pain then think,
Gods want you to win..............









5.If a drop of water falls in
lake there is no identity.
But if it falls on a leaf of lotus
it shine like a pearl.
so choose the best place
where you would shine............








6.Never expect things to happen..
struggle and make them happen.
never expect yourself to be given a good value
create a value of your own..............








7.A FaCT :

When you are up in life,
Your friends get to know who you are.

But

When you are down in life,
You get to know who your friends are..............











8.Gulab ka phool bano!
Q k yeh phool
us k hath mein bhi khusbu chor deta hai
jo isay masal kar phaink deta hai.............










9.
5 chizon ki 5 jaga hifazat karni hay..
1:Mehfil me ZUBAN ki
2:Bazar me ANKH ki
3:NAMAZ me DIL ki
4:Dastarkhuwan me PAYT ki
5:Nigah mein HAYA ki............








10.A race horse that consistently
runs just 1 second faster
than others is worth millions of dollars more.
Don’t compromise on 2nd position in life..........










11.Silence & smile are two powerful tools.
Smile is the way to solve many problems.
&
Silence is the way to avoid many problems..........










12.Best inspiring message of the year?
If u r born poor, its not your mistake
BUT
if u die poor, its your mistake
- BILL GATES..........










13.CONFIDENCE

Once, all village people decided to pray for rain.
On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy
came with an Umbrella,that’s Confidence

TRUST
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby
when you throw him in the air,he laughs……
because he knows you will catch him;
that’s Trust

HOPE
Every night we go to bed,
we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning
but still you have plans for the coming day ;
that’s Hope

HAVE CONFIDENCE, TRUST & HOPE........











14.A mind, like a home,
is furnished by its owner,
so if ones life is cold and bare
he can blame none but himself..............









15.A helping word to one in trouble
is like a switch in a railroad track …
an inch between wreck and
smooth, rolling prosperity...........













16.A happy person is not a person
in a certain set of circumstances,

but rather a person with
a certain set of attitudes.........








17.Ustaad ki maar baap k pyar se achi hai
[HAZRAT LUQMAN (A.S)]

Chand k baghair raat bekar hai, aur ilm k baghair zehan.
[HAZRAT ABU BAKAR(RAA)]

Jo tujhey teri khamiyan batayewo tera dost hai.
[HAZRAT UMER (RAA)]

Ghareeb wo hai jis ka koi dost na ho.
[HAZRAT ALI (RAA)].............








18.Success is never permanent.
Failure is never final.

so always do not stop effoet
until your victory makes a history.

Good luck..........












19.6 rules to be HAPPY:
Free your heart from hatred;
Free your mind from worries;
Live simply;
Expect less;
Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND..........










20.A leader is one who
knows the way,
goes the way
and
shows the way..........










21.You must have
long range goals
to keep you
from being frustrated
by short range failures.........









22.You can tell more about a person
by what he says about others
than
you can by what others say about him.
(Leo Aikman)........








23.Being a good person
is like a being a goal keeper
No matter how many goals we save,
People will remember
only the one that you missed...........









24.As we sail through life,
dont avoid Storms & Rough waters,
just let it PASS… Sail on!
Because Calm Seas
will never make Skilled Sailors..............










25.Speak less to people whom u love most…..
Because if they cant understand ur silence…..
They can never understand your words..........










26.Erasers are for people who make errors.
But a better saying:
Erasers are for people willing to correct their mistakes........









27.In life, dont expect anything from anyone.
Because expectation, when not fulfilled, gives you pain.
When you get something without expecting it,
It gives you pleasure.
Keep doing your part
And leave the rest to God.........







28.We always feel bad
&
think that good things
happen only to others

But we forget that we
are others for someone else..........







29.Life doesn’t provide Warranties & Guarantees…
it only provides possibilities & opportunities
for those who dare to make best use of it!
Good Day!!!!!!!!!!!!









30.When youur fear touches
someones pain, it becomes pity,

when your love touches
someones pain,it becomes compassion..........

SORRY AND APOLOGY sms

1.SORRY¦ SORRY¦ SORRY¦SORRY¦
Dont get confused ,Aray Baba SORRY means:
S->Some,
O->One Is,
R->Really,
R->Remembering
Y->Youâ¦..
Have A wonderful dayâ..............













2.As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past,
But know my love will always last,
Even though we are a distance apart,
You always have the key to my heart..............









3.I am sorry to be smiling every time you’re near.
I am sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you’re here.
I am sorry that cupid has made his hit.
I am sorry i love you,
I can’t help it...............









4.Is kadar humari chahat ka imtihaan mat lijiye,
Kyu ho khafa ye bayan to kijiye,

Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gayi hai koi khata,
Yu yaad na kar ke saza to na dijiye..............











5.Dosti main dooriyan to aati rehti hain
Phir bhi dosti dilo ko mila deti hai

Wo dosti hi kiya jo naraz na ho
Per sachi dosti dosto ko mana leti hai..........









6.Tum hasti ho mujhe hasane ke liye
Tum roti ho mujhe rulane ke liye

Tum ek bar rooth kar to dekho
Mar jaoun ga tumhein manane ke liye.........












7.Bhool se koi bhool hui to
bhool samajh kar bhool jana.

Are… bhoolna sirf bhool ko,
bhool se bhi hame na bhulana.......

SMILE sms

1.Shakespear said don’t worry!
because if u r worried u get a wrinkle,
So why don’t u smile & get a dimple.
Always smile and be happy...........










2.Some times….When I’m all alone.
I close my eyes and think of you…
and the thought of your love worms
me inside and make me smile............







3.A smile gives red colour 2 ur cheeks,
White 2 ur teeth,
Pink colour 2 ur lips,
Silver colour 2 ur eyes,

So keep smiling
&
enjoy the colours of life.........







4.Doctor’s prescription 4 u.
A cute little smile 4 breakfast.
More laughs 4 lunch.
Lots of happiness for dinner.

Doctor’s fee? An sms when u r free...........














5.Some times ur existence
gives hope to one person,

Your smile may be a pearl for someone,

Your presence might be the
desire of the 1 who loves U dearly.

So value yourself............










6.Girls misuse it!
models sell it!
photograhers cage it!
doctors advice it!
death freezes it!
artists create it!
Guess, what’s that?

It’s SMILE! KEEP SMILING!!!!!!!!












7.SMILE:

S: Sets u free,
M: Makes u special,
I: Increases ur face value,
L: Lifts up ur spirits,
E: Erases all ur tensions,

So, please keep smiling............










8.Let me guess what U R doing…
Reading book?
Na Na!
Listining Music?
Uhu!
Watching TV?
Nah!
Caught U!
Missing me and reading my SMS na.!!
Oh now U R smiling................













9.Smile is a language of Love.
Smile is a way to get success,
Smile is to win the hearts.
Smile improves ur personality.
So, keep smiling :)...........









10.Smiling is infectious,
you catch it like the flu.
when someone smiled at me today,
I started smiling too.
I passed around the corner,
and someone saw my grin.
when he smiled I realized.
I’d passed it on to him!
I thought about that smile,
then I realized it’s worth.
a single smile just like mine,
could travel round the Earth............










11.Suna hai keh ap ki 1
smile par Log martay hain,
So keep smilling….
To
reduce …
Population:)...........








12.Smile in ease,
Smile in pain,
Smile when trouble,
pour like rain,
smile when someone hurt ur fellings,
smiles you know are very hailng.........











13.

ROMANTIC sms

1.If 10 people care 4 u,
one of them is me,
if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again,
if no 1 cares 4 u that means
i m not in this world..........





2.When it rains, you dont see the sun, but its there.
Hope we can be like that.
We dont always see each other,
but we will always be there for one another..........









3.I have 3 parts of my heart,
.
.
.
1st 4 my Allah,
.
.
2nd 4 my Family,
.
3rd 4 myFriends.

*

*

But no part 4 u,

Becoz,

U
R
My
Heart...........











4.This is a moon which learns from you,
That is a sun which respects you,
There are stars which shine for you,
And here… It’s me who live for you.........









5.If I could have ,
I would wish to wake up everyday
To the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my cheek,
The touch of your fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine…
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
With anyone other than you..............









6.A candle may melt
and it’s fire may die,
but the love you have
given me will always
stay as a flame in my heart...........









7.Hichkion ka aana ye batata hy,
Koi humain yaad kar k khud ko rulata hay,

Dil nahi samajhta magar ye tu such hay,
Shiddat se yaad hamain bhi koi aata hai............














8.How long will you be special to me?

As long as the stars twinkle in the sky,
As long as angels are there up high,
Till the ocean run dry and till the day i die........









9.My heart says that you like me,
My eyes says that you feel something for me,
My mind says that you think of me,
But till now you are quietâ!!!!!!!








10.Believe me, you are the one,
Whom my heart finds,
Whom my mind reminds me of,
Whom my destiny wants,
Whom I love the most..............








11.Wo shakhs meri jaan bana rehta hy,
Uska pyar meri pehchan bana rehta hy,

Koi muntazi hy uska kitni shiddat se,
Wo janta hy magar anjan bana rehta hy.........








12.Yaadon ki barsaat liye
Duaaon ki soghat liye
Dil ki gehrayee se
Chand ki roshnai se
Pholon k kaghaz per
Aap k liye sirf 3 lafz

“I LOVE YOU”...........













13.Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,
Jaan ke liye kar doon kurban yaari,
Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari,
Ab tumse kya chhupaana,
Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari......







14.If i could be any part of U I wud be ur tear,
To be conceived in ur heart born in ur eyes…
Live on ur cheeks
and
die on ur lips............












15.1st time i saw u i was scared 2 touch u.
1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u.
1st time i kiss u i was scared to love u.
but now dat i love u im scared 2 lose u!!!!!!!!!








16.If you r in a dark room,
You find blood everywhere
And the walls are shaking
- Don’t worry friend,
U r at the safest place,
You r in my heart............











17.Ye dil na jaane kya kar baitha.
Mujhse puche bina hi faisla kar baitha.

Iss zameen par toota sitara to nahi girta.
Aur ye pagal chand se dosti kar baitha..............









18.Aye Chand…
Jab wo teri tarf dekhain
Toh unhain kuch yaad delana
Phir chupkey se un k pass jana
Aur kehna….!
Tumhain koi yaad karta hai.
Teri umeed karta hai kohi
Ajj bhi tumhain dekh kar
Eid karta hai koi...........









19.Till the end of time…
In a world so close to me…
I’m just so in love…
With a girl who’s in my heart…
I Love U................









20.I looked at a sweet, beautiful rose,
And then I looked at you,
And I kept looking at you,
For the rose isn’t as beautiful as you...........










21.Apni KHAMOSH zindagi main bolana mujhko,
Apni HASEEN khuwab ki TASVEER banana mujhko,

Main jo POCHON tumhara HAAL-e-DIL,
To apni har DHARKAN ki AWAZ sunana mujhko.........












22.Mohabbat k saray rang
Rangon k saray phool
Phoolon ki sarii khushboo
Khushboo k saray lamhe
Lamhon ki sarii chahat
Chahat ki sarii khushiyaan
aap k liye...........









23.Jugnu ko qaid kar k muskaraya na karo,
Roshni ki khatir kisi ka dil jalaya na karo,

Sitam karna hai karo par itna na karo!
Yaad nahi karsakte to yad aaya na karo.........















24.Look at sun and you see time.
Look in heart and you see love.
Look in eyes and you see life.
Look at your mobile and
you see who’s thinking of u!
It’s me..............










25.Give laugh to all but smile to one,
Give cheeks to all but lips to one,
Give love to all but Heart to one,
Let everybody love you
But you love one...............











26.Har baar dil se yeh paigham aaye,
Zubaan kholon to tera he naam aaye,

Tum he kion bhaye dil ko kya maloom,
Jab nazroo k saamne haseen tamam aaye.............













27.My love for you is like water,
Falling countless…
The beating of my heart,
For you is so heavy and soundless,
The feeling of being in your arm is so
Precious and endless.............











28. my eyes when U look into them,
I love my name when U say it,

I love my heart when U love it,
I love my life when U are in it...........









29.Mere haathon se gir gayi lakeeren kahin,
Bhool aaye hum apni takdeeren kahin,

Agar mile tumko kahin to utha lena,
Mere hisse ki har khushi apne haathon pe saja lena........











30.Meeting you was fate,
becoming your friend was choice,
but falling in love with you was
completely out of my control.............

RAKSHA BANDHAN sms

1.I long for the day through the year
that you so ceremoniously tie rakhi
on my wrist and pray for my well being.
Dear Sis, I wish that our bond grows stronger everyday........







2.Hey Sis,
When the world goes dark,
Stars are there…
When the journey breaks up,
Hope is there…
When the entire world is vanished,
And you feel left alone…
Tilt your head and look beside you,
Will bring you comfort feeling of
Care and affection molds on you,
As your Brother is always beside you
To pour the special love and affection forever…

[ HAPPY RAKSHA BANDHAN ].............













3.Agar aap bus, train, plane ya kahin se bhi aa ya jaa
rahe ho aur kisi mahila ke haath mai phool, dhaga,
chain ya chamakti hui koi bhi vastu dekhen.
To turant wahan se hat jayen.
Yeh vastu Rakhi ho sakti hai.
Aapki zara si laparwahi apko Bhai bana sakti hai…
Janhit mai jaari!!!!!!!!!!!









4.Sky is blue, feel this hue,
my love is for you Bhaiya…always true.
Loads of good wishes for Raksha Bandhan..........








5.This msg is for the most wonderful
sisters of this world —-badi and chhoti.
Thank u didi for always being there on my
side and for helping me in those infinite
ways which I cannot even remember…........










6.God could not take care for the whole world
so he has given mothers to each family.

In the same way mother could not take care
for the whole part of our life, so she had given brothers.
Thanks for being my brother.

******Happy Raksha Bandhanâ*******












7.Rasmalaai?
Nope!
Gulab jaman?
Nah!
Let me c..
How bout jalebi?
Hmm…
Nope!
Damn!
Still cant find
anything as sweet
as U.
Happy Raksha Bandhan...........








8.Holi is colourful,
Deewali is lightful and brightful,
Rakhi has made our relationship POWERFUL.....








9.You are so cute,
darling
and adorable..
Can’t help
forming a
relationship with you…
Please
Accept me
As your
Dearest and
Sweetest Behna
Happy Raksha Bandhan...........








10.We gain and lose things everyday.
But trust me on one thing.
You’ll never lose me.
I will always be here.
Happy Raksha Bandhan..............












11.Your love makes me feel proud.
And on this day I want to shout it out loud.
Happy Raksha Bandhan my sister..........









12.Near of far wherever u r,
My best wishes r with U,
Tum jiyo hazaron saal,
May success & joy be yours everyday,
Yehi hai meri wish dil se!

Happy Raksha Bandhanâ...........









13.Do U know that,
Fun as a triple scoops,
Sweet as chocolates,
Bright & cheerful as flowers,
Its U
May your wishes come true,
And may each of your days be filled with,
Joy & smiles too!

HAPPY RAKSHA BANDHAN.........










14.Kaamyabi tumhare kadam chume,
Khushiyan tumhare charo aur ho,

Par bhagwan se itni prarthana karne ke liye,
tum mujhe kuch to commission do!

To my extremely lovable (but kanjoos) brother…
Just kidding as always.

Happy Raksha Bandhanâ............












15.Har Ladki tere liye bekarar hai,
Har Ladki ko tera intezaar hai,

Ye tera koi kamaal nahi,
Kuch din baad “RAKSHA BANDHAN” ka tyohar hai!!!!!!!!









16.I wish u “HAPPY RAKHI” and
I pray to God for ur prosperous life.
May you find all the delights of life,
may ur all dreams come true.
My best wishes will always be with you
and I wish that u’ll always shower your blessings on me..........









17.I am sure you are not going to
tie Rakhi for me this year and forever.
But let me tell you this.
You are my sweetest little sis
though we are not blood related..............











18.Sister is someone who is caring and sharing.
Sister can understand things you never said.
She can understand pain,
which is not visible to anyone.
I love my sister..............









19.Sisters is probably the most competitive
relationship within the family,
but once sisters are grown,
it becomes the strongest relationship...........











20.Hello Bhaiya, how r u?
How’s life?
Rakhi bhej di hai, mil jayegi.
Mera cell kharab hai isliye me
inke cell se sms kar rahi hoon.
Tumhari pyari behan - Mallika Sherawat............











21.Scroll dwn
if u Hate me
i dont beliv
u’re scrollin
I Hate u 2
Hate u
hate u
STILL
SCROLLING?
.
.
.
But after
our fights
I LOVE U
HAPPY
RAKSHA
BANDHAN...........











22.Rakhi is just an excuse
for me to express myself:
You mean the world to me.
Happy Raksha Bandhan to
my sweet sister...........










23.The warmth of Ur love is
all I need during cold times.
Happy Raksha Bandhan Didi............









24.I want 2 tell u,
during the times when we fought,
my love was in a different mood.
Happy Raksha Bandhan sweety!!!!!!!!!









25.If I can choose my brother in next life,
it’ll b u (if u gift me a Mercedes Benz 2morrow). :)
Love you always. Happy Raksha Bandhan..............











26.May this auspicious occasion
bring you all the prosperity
and good luck in your way of life .
Happy Rakshabandhan to you…............












27.You know that you are the
most precious stone in the
collection of my secret treasure..
Wishing you very Happy Rakhi
and best of luck for every thing.............











28.My Dear Brother is one
of the most precious
gift sent by God.

Happy Raksha Bandhan to you............










29.My Dear Brother is one
of the most precious
gift sent by God.

Happy Raksha Bandhan to you...........










30.Never ever thought we will not be together this day. I am really missing you very much. The Rakhi you send is very good, it’s looking great on my wrist. I just pray that we will be together on every Rakhi from next year. May God bless you with lot of happiness, love and success. Take care.
Missing You...................

PUNJABI sms

1.J 13 khayal 20 na aaway
80 udaas ho jaanday aan
Tay 100 20 nai sakday chalo a 10 diyo
k tusi 20 saanu inna e yaad karday o?
ya roz 32 band kar k 100 janday o...........






2.O mere makhna
meno yaad rakhna
har vely hasna,
Koe problem howy ty dasna,
kise hor nal na phasna,
bus mere nal vasna

O mere makhna
Kaisa hy ye sms zaror dasna..........









3.Agar computer windows PUNJABI main hoti tu,
Send=satto
Insert=pao
Download=thalle lao
Delete=mitti pao
Run=Nassu
Search=Labbo
ALT+CTRL+DEL=syapaa hi mukao.........











4.O mere makhna meno yad rakhna,
Har velay hasna koi problem hovey te dasna,
kisey da dil na torna,

Mgar sms karrna na chadna..........









5.Do dil hone chahide see rabba nitin de shareer vich,
Ek tute te ena dard ta naa hondha,
Per tainu ta kahiye,je tera vee koi dildaar hondha,
Te oh tera dil todeda,te mere jeha haal hondha............








6.MAn 2 Sheikh: Yar Kal main tenu kini
waryi Phone kita per tu nahi chukiya

Sheikh: kion Chukhan ,
jerha main 30 Rupaiye thay kar gana luwaya aye,
ohnuu tera peo sunaye ga...........







7.ISHQ da jisnu khwaab aa janda ae,
waqt samjho khraab aa janda ae,
mehboob aave ya na aave
par taare ginan da hisaab aa janda ae!!!!!!!!!!












8.Rabb kare tu sada hasdi rahe,
koi dukh tere nere vi na aave,
hor ki dua manga rabb to,
tenu sadi vi umar lag jaave!!!
Eid Dian Mubarakan Hoon Tanu...........









9.Sawairay jaldi uth k,
naha k saf kapray pa k,
allah agay sajday pa k,
akhan band kar k sachai dil nal pocho….
Mola jadon tusi aqal vandi main kitthe sa?
“Good Morningâ€...........












10.Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh MMS karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain
*vele = lazy (vele is a Punjabi word)..........














11.Koi pehle pehle pyar diyan gallan
kinjh skda bhul sajjna,
mainu aj v milan kitaba cho
tere vallo bheje phul sajjna.
Beshak ek phul murjhaye ne
par mehak hai aundi yaadan cho.
jindgi cho jaane walyeo
haye tusi kyu nei jande khawaba cho.
Na ji hunda na mar hunda
na hunda saatho bhul sajjna.
Mainu ajv milan kitaba cho
tere vallo bheje phul sajjna............













12.Aakhia nu hanjuan d daat den walea,
Zindgi nu vakhri shugat den walea,

ohdiya yaada vich asi har khushi barbaad karde,
Kash “oh” vi sade jina sanu yaad karde..........









13.Teriyan yadan nal preet pai baithe haan,
Eh na samjhi tenu bhulai baithe haan,

Duriyan ki karan giyan dur sanu,
jad ruh vich hi tenu vasai baithe han...........















14.Asin parvane sanu agg sek lain de,
Sajjna de sajde layi godde tek lain de.

jadon aayi mout asin keha ohnu ruk,
thehar sannu jandi vaari ”yaar”vekh lain de.............










15.Ishq bande di jaat o loko,
Te yaari bande da imaan.
Ishq ta mange sir di baazi,
Te yaari mange dil-jaan.
Ishq ch banda mitt janda a,
Te yaari ch ho janda kurbaan.
Ishq nachave gali gali
te yari nachave jahan.
Vekhi dowa nu chhed na baithi,
je ek vich dena painda sir
te duje ch hateli te rakhni paindi jaan............













16.Sochia c mehfal sadi a,
sab mehfal wale sade ne.
asi jaat paat ton ki laina,
sab gore kale sade ne.
Par ki dassiye asi sajjna de
viswash banaye haar gye.
Asi apne jina nu kehnde c
sanu ohi ik din maar gye...........











17.Tharo SMS jab jab aavay hai
Maro rom rom machal jawe hai
Ang ang men gud gudi huwe hai
Tharo SMS ka koi na kasoor howe hai
Maro Mobile vibration pe howe hai..........












18.Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan vaste,
Tussi ronde ho saanu rovvan vaset,
Tussi 1 vaar ruske te vekho,
Mar jayenge tuhanu manaan vaste...........










19.Teri gali whicho langaa ge jaan-jaan ke,
saanu pata ae ki tu Thane report likhvayi hoyi ae,
jaa ke puch layi tu Thanedaar nu,
assi ohdi vi kudi fasayi hoyi ae!!!!!!!!!!!!













20.Oh menu dekhi jaandi c, main ohnu vekhi jaanda c
Na paper mainu aanda c, na paper ohnu aanda c............









21.Baah fadke rok lende,je chalda koi zor hunda
assi tere piche kyon rulde, je tere jeha koi hor hunda........









22.baah phad k le chal naal menu badi mitti fakki terian rahan di,
je pyar saza taan manzur saanu per qaid hove terian baahan di............










23.rifle dunali je mirze kol hondi, pichhe Sehban de bhaiyan nu mor dinda,
sohni duban to pehla je phone kardi,Mahiwal ik kishti rod denda,
akal hundi te vech kuch Ranjha court marriage layi paise jod lainda,
khabar hundi je blocha de aaun di Punnu ret chhad Kulu Manali wal daud lainda ...........










24.Massa massa si aayi maut
ik hor hii adchan pe gayi
oh kal milan da vaada kar gayi
saanu umar vdhaani pe gayi .................









25.Kudiyon wich koi Sassi Labda, Koi Labda Heer,
Assi ta yaaro Sahiba Labni, te kutne ohde Veer!!!!!!!!!!!










26.

POLITICS AND POLITICIANS sms

1.
1 anokhi dua

Aapko khushian itni milain jitni Musharraf ko galiyan,

Aapki zindagi se gham aise khatam hon jese PTV se haya,

Aap ko GEO jaisa sabar milay,
Shohrat itni milay jitni “BB” ko mili

Health aisi mile jaisay SANGEETA ko
OR
Aapke din aise phirain jaisay zardari k..........












2.Zardari ne awam k vote ka kesa sila dia!
=
Itni mahengai ki k hansto ko rula dia

Socha tha k shayud salary barhay gi,
=
Salary ghanta barhi, GHANTA barha dia













3.Asif zardari ne Islmabad men
Nawaz sharif k sath mil ker Coca Cola pi
or Nawaz Sharif ne kaha k
judge kub bahal hongay?
to Zardari ne kaha..
.
.
.
BRRRRRRRRRRRR.!!!!!!!!!!!









4.Bush ka “Kutta” bush se roth gaya,
Ja k ganday nalay main doob gaya,

Dobtay howay bola ab aur zulm nahin sahain gay,
Eg ghar mai 2 2 nahin rahain gay…:D........









5.
1 Anokhi Dua
Aap ko Khushyan itni milen jitni MUSHARRAF ko Gaaliyaan…
Aapki Zindagi Se Gham aise khatam hoon jese PTV se haya
Aapko GEO jesa sabar miley
Shorat itni mile jini “BB” ko mili
Health aesi mile jese SANGEETA ko…
or
Aap ke din aise phir jaye jese ZARDARI ke............












6.Devils went to Court to Prove
that he is The Most,
Cruel & wicked Guy on Earth.

But he Failed, He Came Out Angrily & Asked,
Yaar ye “ALTAF BHAI” kon hai????????????










7.M Ali Jinnah = Qaid-e-Azam
Liaqut Ali = Qaid-e-Millat
Fatima Jinnah = Madar-e-Millat
Pervez Musharraf = Qaid-e-Qillat :p.........








8.Kid

Pid

Did

Sid

Fid

Wid

Lid

Gid

Hid

Jid

Sid

Mid

Pid

Vid

Lid

Qid

Pareshan nahi ho,
ye chaudhry shujat
press conference ker raha tha...........













9.Aaeen men ek aur tarmeen,
Ab new quomi tarana

Musharraf sir zameen shad baad,
Kishwar-e-Haseen shad baad,
Tou nishan-e-corruption aalishan,
Arz-e-Musharafstan,
Shad bad opposition sari barbad,
Musharaf sir zameen ka nizam,
atay, gas, bijli ka bohran,
Qoum mulk saltant,
choudhry paindabad,
shad baad,
shukat aziz mulk say farar,
parcham-e-sitara-e-hilal,
Khun main runga sara saal,
Bhol apna mazi shan-e-haal,
khudkash bombar phir hai tayar,
Musharaf hokumat ko aye na zawal.............














10.Considering his achievements
of creating shortage of
wheat
gas
power
sugar
water

Musharaf has been given
the title of Quaid-e-Qillat!!!!!!!!!!













11.Mushraf ki niyat

“Niyat karta hoon 2 molvi marne ki.

6 rocket fire farz.

Wasty bUSH uncle k.

Muon mera Jamia hafza ki tarf”...........











12.Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto

“Dard-e-bhutto”
“Dard-e-bhutto”
Wo hasina wo nilam pari,,
hui thi wo election main khari,,
na jane kahan se goli chal pari,,
hamare lia ho gayi mushkil khari,,
Dil main hay mere
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"
“”Dard-e-Bhutto”"

ha koi muqabla karne wala.......











13.Honesty in politics is much like oxygen.
The higher up you go,
the scarcer it becomes...............












14.A promising young man
should go into politics so that he can
go on promising for the rest of his life...........








15.In politics,
your enemies can’t hurt you,
but your friends will kill you............








16.I don’t make jokes.
I just watch the
government
and
report the facts............













17.Bad officials
are elected
by
good citizens
who do not vote..........










18.Politics is the art of looking for trouble,
finding it whether it exists or not,
diagnosing it incorrectly,
and applying the wrong remedy..............










19.The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’,
meaning ‘many’,
and the word ‘tics’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’........









20.Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has
been concerned with
right or left
instead of
right or wrong...........













21.We have plenty of Confidence in this country,
but we are a little short of good men
to place our Confidence in. -Will Rogers............










22.I offer my opponents a bargain:
if they will stop telling lies about us,
I will stop telling the truth about them.........









23.Some men change their party
for the sake of their principles;

others change their principles
for the sake of their party...........













24.The flood of money
that gushes into politics
today is a pollution of democracy...........











25.Politics is the gentle art
of getting votes from the poor
and campaign funds from the rich,
by promising to protect each from the other..............














26.Good leaders are like baseball umpires;
they go practically unnoticed
when doing their jobs right..........











27.A good leader is a person
who takes a little more than
his share of the blame
and
a little less than his share of the credit...........











28.Government is like a baby.
An alimentary canal with
a big appetite at one end
and no sense of responsibility at the other............











29.The more you read and
observe about this Politics thing,
you got to admit that each party
is worse than the other.

The one that”s out always looks the best..........


















30.Those who are too smart
to engage in politics
are punished by being governed
by those who are dumber............

POETRY AND SHAYARI sms

1.Khuda ki banai qudrat nahi dekhi,
Dilon main chupi dolat nahi dekhi,

Jo kehta hai doori se mit jati hai dosti,
Us ney shayud hamari dosti nahi daikhi...........






2.Is dafa to barishein rukti nahin faraz,
Hum ne ansu kia piye k saray mosam ro paray.......








3.Bhej ker SMS dilse yaad kia hay,
Phir na kehna k maina bhula dia hay,
Ab na koi bahana tumhara hoga,
Dekh ker SMS hamara apko muskurana hoga........







4.Koi dikha k roye,
Koi chupa k roye,

Humain rulanay walay,
Humain rula k royee,

Marna ka maza to tab hai yaro,
Jab qatil bhi Janazay per aa ker roye..........









5.Yeh zara zara si baat per,
Tarha tarha ka azaab kiyon?

Jo kisi say bhi khafa na ho,
Mujhey us khuda ki talash hai.

Mujhey laghzishon pay her ghari,
Koi tokta hay baar baar.

Jisay ker k dil ko dukh na ho,
Mujhey us gunah ki talash hai,

Bina Humsafar k kab talak,
Koi musafaton main laga rahay.

Jahan koi kisi say juda na ho,
Mujhey us raah ki talash hay.

Mujhey daikh ker jo aik nazar,
Meray saray dard samajh sakay.

Jo is qadar ho Chara-e-gar,
Mujhey us nigaah ki talaash hay............












6.Guzre dinon ki bhuli hoi bat ki tarha,
Ankhon me jagta he koi rat ki tarah,

Tumse umed thi k nibhao gy dosti,
Tum bhi badal gaye Karachi k halaat ki tarah............










7.Hum woh phool hain jo roz roz nahi khiltay,
Yeh wo hont hain jo kabhi nahin siltay,

Hum se bichro ge to ehsas hoga tumhain,
Hum wo dost hain jo roz roz nahin miltay...........










8.Tere bina hum jeena bhool jate hain,
Zakhmon ko seena bhool jate hain,

Tu zindagi mein sub se azeez hai hamain,
Tujhse her baar yeh kehna bhool jaatay hain..............








9.Raaz-e-dil na sunana kisi ko Saqib,
Duniya mein sab hamraz badal jatay hain,

Kisi kay bicharne se koi mar nahi jata,
Haan magar jeenay k andaz badal jatay hain!!!!!!!!!












10.sapne hain yadain hai or bahut kuch,
tum ho tumhari batain hain or bahut kuch,

nahi chahtay hum tum ko bhulana,
magar dori hai ek majbori hai or bahut kuch

I miss u..........









11.Sanson ka pinjara kisi din toot jayega,
Phir musafir kisi rah mein choot jayega!

Abhi sath hai to bat kar lia karo,
Kia pata kub zindagi ka sath choot jayega.........










12.kitne nadaan thy toufan ko kinara samjha
kitne bejan saharon ko sahara samjha,

kitnay anjaan thy wo log jo sahil pe thy,
hamain doobta dekha or nazara samjha..........













13.Dil main koi malal bhi nahin,
Us se koi gila nahin, jo sath day k bhi sath nahin,

Us ki khushion ki mangi hai dua,
Yeh alag bat hay k meri zindagi us ka sawal hai k nahin.........











14.Koi na milay to qismat se ghila nahi karty!
aksar log mil ker bi mila nahi karty!

har shaakh par bahaar aati hy Zaror!
par har shaakh par phool khila nhi krty.........









15.Mujhey guman hai k chaha
hai bohut zamanay ne mujhey.
Main azeez to sab ko hon magar
.
.
.
Zaroraton ki tarah..!!!!!!!!!!












16.Ae rab apnay pas meri dua amanat rakhna,
Rehti duniya tuk us ko salamat rakhna.

Meri ankhon k sary deep bujha dena,
Per us ki ankhon k sary khuwab salamat rakhna.............












17.Us shakhs se jab tuk koi baat nahin hoti,
Din nikalta nahi or raat nahin hoti,

Na khafa howa karay wo usay kehna,
Bina us k Mukammal meri zaat nahin hoti..........













18.Kaash k usay chahnay ka Arman na hota,
Main hosh main hote howay anjaan na hota,

Yeh pyaar na hota kisi patthar dil se hamain,
Ya koi patthar dil insan na hota.............









19.Bojhal dil, bojhal qadam,
Sochtay hain k jain kahan

Jub sub derwazay hon band,
Apni manzil pa’ain kahan

Sang’raizon k dais main,
Kanch ka dil chupain kahan........








20.Zindagi younhi teri chahat k naam kardi,
Jaisay ghanay darakht k neeche sham kardi,

Laut jate hainparinde shaam hote hi,
Hamne to har shaam hi tere naam kardi........









21.Kash koi aisa ahal-e-dil hota jo meri arzu karta,
Khoo jati agar main kahin, to meri justuju karta,

Mein us kay zehan-o-dil main kuch is tarah sama jati,
K lab jab bhi kholta meri guftugu karta,............







22.Beetay pal wapas la nahi sakte
Sukhe phool wapas khila nahi sakte
Kabhi kabhi lagta hai aap hamein bhul gaye
par dil kehta hai k aap hamein bhula nai sakte...........












23.Dillagi dosto ke naam hoti hai
Dilldari dosto ki shaan hoti hai

Kahi bhi raho par rahoge dil me mere
Yahi sachchi dosti ki pehchaan hoti hai.........











24.Tanha chor ker hum ko hasla bhi dete ho,
Saans cheen ker jeenay ki dua bhi dete ho,

Ik taraf judai ka tazkira bhi jari hai,
Aur muskuranay ka mashwara bhi detay ho..........










25.Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri,
Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere,

Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye,
Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye…..........











26.Meri chahat ka hisab jo lagao gay,
To meri chahat ko bayhisab pao gay,

Meri chahat hay pani k bulbulay jesi,
Zara sa thukrao gy to dhondtay reh jao ge,.........











27.Mery wajood se lipti khushbo tere naam ki hai
Meray dil me basi her ek dharken tery naam ki hai

Itna yaqeen ker lay meray hamnasheen
Bin tery meri zindagi baynaam si hai............









28.Jab koi khayal dil se takrata hai,
Dil na chah ker bhi khamosh ho jata hai,

Koi sab kuch keh ker dosti jatata hai,
To koi kuch na keh k DOSTI NIBHATA HAI..........










29.Teri yaad dil se jane nahi denge,
Tere jesa dost khone bhi nahi denge,

Sharafat se roz SMS kia karo warna,
Ek kaan k niche denge or rone bhi nahie denge.........











30.Kehdo un parhne walon se,
Kabhi hum bhi parha kertay thay,
Jitna syllabus parh k wo top kertay hain,
Utna to hum choice per chor dia kertay thay,..............

NEW YEAR sms

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

1.
New rules of life for 2008
1. Haste Rehne ka.
2. Tension nai leneka.
3. B positive, eat positive, sleep positive
4. Mast rehneka.
5. Har problem ko solve kernay ka.
6. Friend k sath lifetime friendship account kholnay ka
7. Mujhko yaad rakhnay ka
Aur mujhey sms kertay rehnay ka..........








2.New hijri year. 1429 Mubarak
Allah talah aap ko
hazaroon khushiyan ataa karay
aur aap per rehmatain nazil fermaye.
ameen.........









3.Aap sab ko dill ki gehraiyon say
nikli hoi bay shumar duaon k sath
“NAYA ISLAMI SAAL” mubarak ho.
Allah is naye saal ko aap sab k liye rehmaton,
barkaton,
khushyon,
kamiyabion,
khair-o-afiat,
hifazat,
aman,
sukoon aur tamam tar naik khuwahishat
ki takmeel ka saal bana day aur donon
jehan ki sari naymatain ata farmaye
aur hamisha,hamisha k liye razi ho jaye.
Ameen, Summa ameen...........








4.Little keys open big locks
Simple words reflect great thoughts
Your smile can cure heart blocks
So keep on smiling it rocks.
Happy New Year 2008..........






5.2008 is at the door…
Remember
Life is short, break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
love truly,
laugh uncontrollably,
and
never regret anything that made you smile...........









6.May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,
to explore every joy of life
&
may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm,
turning all your dreams into reality
and all your efforts into great achievements.
Happy New Year to you & your loved ones...........







7.Thre have been many time in 2007
when I may disturbed you
troubled u
irritated u
bugged u
.
.
.
.
today I just wanna tell you
.
.
.
.
I plan to continue it in 2008.........












8.Aaj
ki
duniya
bohat
advance
hai

Isi
advance
duniya
ki
advance
technology
m
rehnay
wale

1 advance
banday
ki taraf
se aap ko

Advance “happy new year”.............










9.Apne 2007 k gunah dhonay k liye 99
bar is mantar ka wird karain
“East or west, Saqib is the best”
Ab edit ker k is msg mein
apna naam dal k aur gunah mat karna:p...........








10.I wish U to have a …..
Sweetest Sunday,
Marvellous Monday,
Tasty Tuesday,
Wonderful Wednesday,
Thankful Thursday,
Friendly Friday,
Successful Saturday.
Have a great Year. HAPPY NEW YEAR.........








11.Sunehri dhoop barsaat k bad,
thori si hansi her baat ke baad,
usi tarah ho mubarak aap ko 2008, 2007 k baad.
Wish u a Happy new year...........








12.Sabke Dilo mein ho sabke liye Pyar,
Aanewala har din laye Khushiyon ka Tyohar,
Es ummid k sath aao bhulke sare Gum,
New Year 2008 ko Hum Sab kare WELCOME.........








13.Day by day teri khusiya ho jaye Double,
Teri zindagi se delete ho jaye sare Trouble,
Khuda rakkhe humesha tujhe Smart & Fit,
Teray liye New Year ho Super-Duper Hit!!!!!!!!!!







14.We will open the book.
Its pages are blank.
We are going to put words on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity
and
its first chapter is New Year’s Day............






15.Nights are Dark but Days are Light,
Wish your Life will always be Bright.
So my Dear don’t get Fear
Coz, God Gift us a “BRAND NEW YEAR”.
*HAPPY NEW YEAR***********







16.Years come and go,
but this year I specially wish 4 u
a double dose of health n happiness
topped with loads of good fortune.
Have a great year ahead!
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!!!!!!!!!








17.New Year is the time to
unfold new horizons & realize new dreams,
to rediscover the strength & faith within u,
to rejoice in simple pleasures &
gear up 4 a new challenges.
Wishing u a truly fulfilling 2008.............








18.When the mid-nite bell rings tonight..
Let it signify new and better things for you,
let it signify a realisation of all things you wish for,
Let it signify a year of courage and believes,
Wishing you a very…very…very prosperous 2008...........








19.With all the Rose’s Perfume
& with all the lights in the world
& with all the children’s Smiles…
I Wish U that ur all dreams comes True..
*HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008********










20.Each moment in a day has its own value.
Morning brings HOPE,
Afternoon brings FAITH,
Evening brings LOVE,
Night brings REST,
Hope you will have all of them everyday.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008...........









21.Before the sun sets in this year,
before the memories fade,
before the net works get jammed
Wish u and ur family Happy Sparkling New Year 2008.........











22.Memorable moment r celebrated together,
U r my best friend for now & forever,
Make me Miss U even more this New Year,
Hope this 2008 bring Happiness for you Dear..........








23.My Wishes in 2oo8
God gives You…
12 Month of Happiness,
52 Weeks of Fun,
365 Days Success,
8760 Hours Good Health,
52600 Minutes Good Luck,
3153600 Seconds of Joy…and that’s all!!!!!!!!!!!!









24.Time has no divisions to mark its passage,
there is never a thunder-storm or blare of trumpets
to announce the beginning of a new month or year..........










25.Good resolutions are simply checks
that men draw on a bank
where they have no account.
Happy New Year...........







26.In ‘The Universal Bank of God’…
God stores his blessings
&
deposited 365 days full of love,
faith & happiness for you…
So,Enjoy spending…
Happy New Year.........








27.May each day of the coming year
be vibrant and new
bringing along
many reasons for celebrations.........








28.Year’s end is neither an end
nor a beginning
but a going on,
with all the wisdom
that experience
can instill in us.
Happy New Year........










29.Be always at war with your vices,
at peace with your neighbours
and
let each new year find you a better man.
Happy New Year..........








30.Purana saal sabse ho raha hai door,
Kya karein yahi hai kudrat ka dastoor,
Purane yaadein sochkar udaas na ho tum,
Naya saal aaya hai chalo…
DHOOM MACHALE, DHOOM MACHALE DHOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUNNA BHAI sms

1.Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!!!!!!






2.Hi,

Doing nothing?

Then Make a Place,

4 Me in ur Heart!!

I May come there any time!

Ur’s Faithfully,

“HeArT aTtAcK”...........











3.Abhi bole to bhai ko tere SMS nahi aarele,
Bhai ka khopdi boht tight he,
Bol nikalu kya tera luky draw?
bole to do-char SMS chipka dal mamu.

Sender… Circuit Bhai!!!!!!!








4.Tera bhot memory aa rela tha,
Itna tem ho gela hai,
tere ko dekha bhi nai,
Akha life mei tere jesa 1 item mila apanko,
miss to karega..............









5.EXam’s song by Munna bhai:

“Chanda Mama so Gaye,
Student sarey jage.
Dekho pakdo yaron,
Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
Ek pariksha khatam,to duji
shuru ho gayi MAAMU.........










6.Ab itni night ko apun tere ko
kisi film ki kahani sunane
k liye msg to karega nahin.
Common sense ki baat hai k
tere ko GUD Night bolney ka hai!

Chal ludak le..........










7.MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar.
Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehli hain.

MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha..........











8.CIRCUIT : Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT : To kha ke dekh Le, pata chal jayega...........








9.CIRCUIT : Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla
aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera Sara chain collection apnay
kamray mein chupa do na please.

MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nahin Bhai, who apnay chain pechan lega......







10.MUNNA BHAI : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?????????






11.CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu NE bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, who Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.

CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to TU bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.

CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.........







12.MUNNA BHAI : Oye Short Circuit yeh light
bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?

CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.........








13.Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to
gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?

Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us
time ke salmaan khan thay!!!!!!!!!!









14.After finishing MBBS… Dr Munna Bhai starts his practice.

He checked his FIRST patient’s eyes,
tongue & ears by TORCH & finally what did he say?

“Battery is OK”.........









15.PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu...........









16.LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.

CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man,
but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti.
Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!!!!!!!!!!










17.MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.

MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bail,
Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi..........









18.Circuit, “Bhai… bole to bachpan
mein apun 20th Floor se gir gaya tha.”

Munna Bhai, “Aisa kya? To fir
bach gaya tha ya mar gaya tha?

Circuit, “Abhi jaane do na bhai itni purani baat…
Bole to ab apun ko jyada yaad nahin!!!!!!!!!"









19.Munna: Meray paas aik buri khabar hai, aur aik buhat hi buri khabar hai teray wastay.
Patient: Acha to pehlay buri khabar suna daal.

Munna: Apun k paas jo teri report pahunchi us mien likha tha k teray
paas sirf 24 ghantay hain zinda rehnay k liye.
Patient: Sirf 24 ghantay. is say buri khabar kya ho sakti hai.

Munna: (Jadu ki Japhhi Dalte Hoauy) Mien kal say teray tak pahunchnay ki koshish kar raha hoon..........









20.Munna:
Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.

Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na............






21.Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera
operation dobara karna paray ga.
Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves
teray andar hi reh gaye hain.

Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do.
Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga.........






22.Munna:
Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette
aik tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.

Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai.........







23.Kya ray!
Aasmani kabutar!

Apun ko sms ka hafta nahi aarela hai,
Apun ko malum hai tere pass sms ka khazana padela hai,
Jaldi se 2-4 jhakas sms ka hafta bhej kanjoos?

Apka Pyara

Munna Bhai......

MOTIVATIONAL AND INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES sms

1.No one will manufacture a lock without a key.
Similarly, God wont give problems without solutions.
So defeat your problems with great confidence..........







2.Gulab ka phool bano!
Q k yeh phool
us k hath mein bhi khusbu chor deta hai
jo isay masal kar phaink deta hai............








3.In this world people will always throw stones
in the path of ur success,
it depends on you…
What you make from them
a wall
or
a bridge..........








4.Enjoy the little things,
for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things............








5.Dance as if no ones watching,
Love as if its never going to hurt........






6.A race horse that consistently
runs just 1 second faster
than others is worth millions of dollars more.
Don’t compromise on 2nd position in life..........







7.Friendship is not collection of hearts
but
it is selection of hearts..........








8.Seize the moment of excited curiosity
on any subject to solve your doubts;
for if you let it pass,
the desire may never return,
and you may remain in ignorance.

(William Wirt)........









9.What you are is what you have been,
and what you will be is what you do now.

(Buddha)...........









10.Are you bored with life?
Then throw yourself into some work
you believe in with all your heart,
live for it,
die for it,
and you will find happiness that
you had thought could never be yours.

(Dale Carnegie)..........











11.The greatest discovery of my generation
is that a human being can alter his
life by altering his attitudes of mind.

(William James)............









12.Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Knowledge is limited.
Imagination encircles the world.

(Albert Einstein).........







13.Always bear in mind that
your own resolution to succeed
is more important than any one thing.

(Abraham Lincoln)............








14.The whole secret of a successful life
is to find out what is one’s destiny to do,
and then do it.

(Henry Ford)..........








15.Learn from yesterday,
live for today,
hope for tomorrow.
The important thing is
to not stop questioning.

(Albert Einstein).........








16.
“””\/”””l
l USKURAO
l__l’v’l__l

OR

!”‘”!_!’””!
! _ ANSO
!__! !__!

Har Pal

l””””/
l D )
L___\ IL SE..........












17.Life spent with someone
for a lifetime may be meaningless,

But a few moments spent
with someone who really loves U,

Means more than a life itself!!!!!!!!!









18.A mind, like a home,
is furnished by its owner,
so if ones life is cold and bare
he can blame none but himself...............











19.A happy person is not a person
in a certain set of circumstances,

but rather a person with
a certain set of attitudes.........









20.There are two rules for success:
1) Never tell everything you know…

(Roger H. Lincoln)...........








21.Do not seek to follow in
the footsteps of the wise.
Seek what they sought.

(Basho)..........








22.If you always put limits on everything you do,
physical or anything else.
It will spread into your work and into your life.
There are no limits. There are only plateaus,
and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.

(Bruce Lee)............











23.The highest reward for
man’s toil is not what he gets for it,
but what he becomes by it.

John Ruskin...........








24.Learn from yesterday,
live for today,
hope for tomorrow.
The important thing is
to not stop questioning.

(Albert Einstein)...........









25.If a man does only what is required of him,
he is a slave.

If a man does more than is required of him,
he is a free man.

(Chinese Proverb)............







26.Confidence is a habit that
can be developed by acting
as if you already had
the confidence you desire to have.

(Brian Tracy)...........







27.You gain strength, courage and confidence
by every experience in which you really
stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.

(Eleanor Roosevelt)........








28.It is better to be hated
for what you are

than

to be loved for
what you are not.

(Andre Gide)..........







29.The best motivation is self-motivation.
The guy says, “I wish someone would
come by and turn me on.”
What if they don’t show up?
You’ve got to have a better plan for your life.

(Jim Rohn)...........







30.It is not because things are
difficult that we do not dare,
it is because we do
not dare that they are difficult.

(Seneca)..........

MOTHER'S DAY sms

1.Your arms were always open when I needed a hug.
Your heart understood when I needed a friend.
Your gentle eyes were stern when I needed a lesson.
Your strength and love has guided me and gave me wings to fly.
(Sarah Malin)

Wishing you a very happy mother’s day.............









2.There is no velvet so soft as a mother’s lap,
no rose as lovely as her smile,
no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps.
(Archibald Thompson)..............









3.Mother love is the fuel that
enables a normal human being
to do the impossible...........










4.Many hugs
Only luv never anger
Teaching me
Helping me
Every smile when I was sad
Raising me to be strong

It spells Mother. Thanks for being u.........









5.Happy Mother’s Day
means more than flowers and gifts
It means saying thank you
It means I love you
You are my mother, my friend
Today is your day!!!!!!!!!!!!








6.A mother serves her sugar with
A bit of peppermint
To clarify the passages
That carry what she meant
When she first set to bear a soul
Quite separate from her own,
Whom she would cherish, yet must teach
To live and die alone..............









7.Make for me a place within your heart
On which I can depend. For only you
Touch the ancient wellsprings of my tears,
Home through all the wanderings of my years,
Eden that no other can renew,
Root I cannot rend through rage or art............











8.Who ran to help me when I fell,
And would some pretty story tell,
Or kiss the place to make it well?
My Mother.

(*) Happy Mother’s Day (*)..........









9.Smiles of happy sunshine,
Arms of everlasting luv,
Touch of sweet roses,
There is magic in the air
Whenever ur there,
Mother, everything to U I owe,
May all pleasures of life come ur way.
“Happy Mother’s day”.............










10.You’ve seen me laugh
You’ve seen me cry
And always you were there with me
I may not have always said it
But thanks and I love you
Happy Mother’s Day..............









11.The Miracle of Life
nurtured by a woman
who gave us
love and sacrifice…
is MOTHER
Happy Mothers Day!!!!!!!!!!!!







12.Mother stands for

M - For the MILLION things she gave me,
O - For she’s growing OLD,
T - For the TEARS she shed to save me,
H - For her HEART of purest gold,
E - For her EYES, with love-light shining,
R - For she is always RIGHT and always be............









13.For the best mom
who always had a smile for me
I know we may be far apart right now
So here’s a great big hug and kiss
Happy Mother’s Day.............









14.Being a full-time mother is
one of the highest salaried jobs…
since the payment is pure love.
(Mildred B. Vermont)...........








15.Mother is an undying love,
A love beyond compare,
the one you take your troubles to,
she is the one who really cares.
Mother you are all of this and more,
I love you very much............









16.Once upon a memory
Someone wiped away a tear
Held me close and loved me,
Thank you, dear Mother...........







17.When you feel you are alone in the crowd,
When you think No.1 can understand you,
When your love is rejected by others,
& when you hate your Life,
Just close your eyes, & see, her face who loves you
more than any 1 else,
who care for you in loneliness,
& dies when you cry.
She is no 1, but your sweet loving mother.
Love your mom first and always............











18.About MAA:-

Dastan mere laad pyar ki Bas,
Ek Hasti k gird ghoomti hai,

Pyar JANNAT se is liye hay mujhey,
Ye meri MAA k qadam choomti hai............










19.Is zulm ki duniya main faqat piyar meri maa,
Hay meray liye saya-e-dewar meri maa,
Nafrat k jazeron say mohabbat ki hadon tuk,
Bus piyar hay han piyar hay bus piyar meri maan..........









20.Maa se rishta aisa banaya jaae,
Jisko nigaaho me bithaya jae,
Rahe uska mera rishta kuch aisa k
Wo agar udaas ho to humse bhi muskuraya na jaae...........










21.A mother’s work is never done
She works from morning until dawn
She spreads her love
And keeps you warm
But only once a year we say
Mother we wish you “Happy Mothers Day”...........












22.My Mother, my friend so dear
Throughout my life you’re always near
A tender smile to guide my way
You’re the sunshine to light my day...........









23.Mother, I love you,
For all that you do.
I’ll kiss you and hug you,
Because you love me, too.
You feed me and need me,
To teach you to play,
So smile because I love you,
On this Mother’s Day..............











24.Maa hai mohabbat ka naam,
Maa ko hazaron salaam,
Karde fida zindagi,
Aaye jo bachon ke kaam...........








25.I take this opportunity
to thank you for
your immeasurable
contribution to my life.
Thank you Mom!
And wish you a
Very Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!!!!!!









26.For the best mom
who always had a smile for me
I know we may be far apart right now
So here’s a great big hug and kiss
Happy Mother’s Day............









27.“M” is for the million things she gave me,
“O” means only that she’s growing old,
“T” is for the tears she shed to save me,
“H” is for her heart of purest gold,
“E” is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
“R” means right, and right she’ll always be...........









28.

MISS YOU sms

1.sapne hain yadain hai or bahut kuch,
tum ho tumhari batain hain or bahut kuch,

nahi chahtay hum tum ko bhulana,
magar dori hai ek majbori hai or bahut kuch

I miss u........







2.It’s hard to say hello because it might be goodbye.
It’s hard to say I’m okay because sometimes I’m not.
But it’s easy to say I miss you coz I know that I really do.........






3.Earth may stop rotating
Birds may stop flying
Candles may stop melting
Fishes may stop swimming
Heart may stop breathing
But i will never stop
Missing you my friend.........







4.Beetay pal wapas la nahi sakte
Sukhe phool wapas khila nahi sakte
Kabhi kabhi lagta hai aap hamein bhul gaye
par dil kehta hai k aap hamein bhula nai sakte........









5.R: is for red.
RED: is for blood
BLOOD: is for heart
HEART: is for love
LOVE: is for you
YOU: is for me
ME: is for you.
(((((I MISS YOU))))))








6.Milne ki khushi hai ya bichadne ka gum,
Ankhon mein aansu hai ya udas hai ham,
Kaise kahain k kaisey hain ham,
Bas itna samaj lena k tum bin bohat akele hai ham...........








7.Waqt guzarta raha per sans thami si thi,
Muskura rahe thy hum,per ankhon me nami si thi,

Saath hamaray jahan tha sara,
Per najanay kion tumhari kami si thi...........








8.Ae mere sms mere dost k pas jana,
agar wo busy ho to shoor mut machana,
jub wo free ho jaye to dhere se muskurana,
Aur kehna
“I MISS YOU”..........










9.U may miss me
U may ignore me
U may even forget me
But one day if u wanna c me
Dont search, just see ur shadow
i wil be there…Trust Me!!!!!!!!!!!









10.Whenever I miss you stars falls down

from the sky,so any day,
if you find the sky empty

don’t blame me!It’s your fault

You make me miss you so much! :-)............









11.Chupke chupke faryad kia kertay hain,
Har pal hum apko yad kia kertay hain,

Yeh hum nahin kehtay ghar wale kehtay hain,
k nend main bhi hum aapka naam lia kertay hain..........







12.A special LUNCH 4 u,
In de hotel of my Heart,
A boul of love,
A spoon of care,
In the pot of Happiness,
Dish is friendship,
Pay the bill
by
MISSING
Me…............








13.A B C D E F G H I J
K L M N O P Q R S
T V W X Y Z
oops! i miss “U”........







14.They learned me that one hours equals 60 minutes
and that one minute equals 60 seconds,
but they never told me that one second
without you can last for ever!!!!!!!!!








15.Ek Tapori ki wife:
Sunte ho ji, Apne chinku ne aaj pehla aadha shabd bola.
Tapori: Achcha, Kya bola ?
Wife: Behan...........












16.Tumse dur rehkar tumhe miss kiya humne,
Tumhare liye “God” se wish kiya humne,

Tumhari yaad chupke se chali aayi toh,
Toh bade pyaar se SmS kiya humne..........











17.I would write on all the bricks
“I miss you”
and hope that 1 falls on your head
So you know how it hurts
to miss someone special like you...........








18.look
the moon is looking at you!

see
stars are shining 4 u!

hear
birds are singing 2 u!

listen
my heart is saying to you..
“I MISS U”..........









19.A word to say, a word to hear
Even in Ur absence I feel U near
Our relation is strong..hope it goes long
we will remain the same till the life goes on!!!!!!!!!!









20.Can u keep a secret?
Between me & u

You promise?

I really need to tell u this…

Well…

I MISS U...........










21.Nobody is right till somebody is wrong…
Nobody is weak till somebody is strong…
Nobody is lucky till love comes along…
Nobody is lonely till somebody is gone.
Missing U!!!!!!!!!!!








22.Try this ,
go to write msg,
ACTIVATE Dictionary [ T9 ],
then hide your screen with 1 hand
& Type 4164771968,
now remove ur hand & read it…..
then SMS me............








23.Dard ko hamdard na mila,
Shauk ko maut na mili, is liye

Dard ko qaid kia shauk ko azaad kia,
Ham se jis tarah bana, hum nay tujhey yaad kia.........









24.Na BOTTEL me,
Na JAAR me,
Na HOTEL me,
Na BAR me,
Na BIKE pe,
Na CAR me,

ab to din guzarte hai
apke SMS k INTEZAR me.
{Miss you all the time}........









25.Her khushi main tumhari bat kartay hain,
Tum salamat raho yeh faryad kartay hain,

Ab aik sms main kaisay batayain k,
Hum tum ko KITNA YAAD kertay hain.........









26.U May Be Busy,
U May Be Engaged
With Lots Of Works.
Bt U Hav 1440 Mins Per Day.
Atleast For 1 min
Think That A Sweet Friend Of Ur ’s
Is Waiting 4Ur SMS.
Missing u...........










27.ALL THE TIME
Good time,
bad time,
night time,
day time,
work time,
off time,
sad time,
happy time,
in the mean time i’m thinking of you all the time.............








28.Every tear is a sign of brokenness,
every silence is sign of lonliness,
every smile is sign of kindness,
every sms is sign of remembrance.
Miss you always.............







29.look at the SUN
&
you c TIME..
look in the HEART
&
you c LOVE..
look in the EYES
&
you c LIFE..
look at ur MOBILE
&
c who’s
REMEMBERING U!!!!!!!!!!!








30.Zindagi me chaar cheezien kabhi bhi aa sakti hain-
‘Neend’;
‘Paisa’;
‘maut’;
aur…
aur…
aur…
aur…
‘MERI PYARI SI YAAD’ kyon…Aayi na..........